uhm, i woke up pretty late. around 11 or so. but i really slept late yesterday :3 so yep! actually i woke up groggily, then went into my parents' room and saw my father sleeping on the bed so i sat on the bed and dozed off ._. lol.

then when i was finally awake i did these things in order: 1. eat breakfast 2. change 3. wear shoes 4. walk around aimlessly 5. wish my hamsters a happy new year and sang them a xin nian ge. HAHAHA I'M QUITE WEIRD RIGHT? also i brought burberry out to play! and then she wriggled through a hole. you know the bed, at the corners there are... gaps, yes? she totally ran through and i panicked at some ball of dust thinking that she was stuck there O_O and then when i finally realised that the dust was not her, i quickly pushed the mattress (below the bed) out and tried to look for her. then, my grandmother screamed at me 'cause she was literally halfway across the dining room already wtf and then i screamed also and i was wearing socks and i slid across the floor and ! tada. by then i was seriously freaked so i grabbed her and rested on the bed again. she wriggled out again and fell (!! i'm super afraid of her falling 'cause i don't want it to be like the last time. but it was okay this time la 'cause it wasn't from too high up) and ran away AGAIN but at least she couldn't get away :D okay anyway i realise i devoted an entire paragraph to this little incident ._. my sentences are all jumbled up and running into each other wth bad sentence structure okay.

^ SEE.

Erm. Yes. After all that, we went out! By then, it was already around noon :/ and so, my parents + my brother and sister + I tried to hail a taxi/call a taxi. We failed miserably. Around one (YES! We waited for one hour -_- so failllll.) we decided, haha, to take the MRT to Redhill, where my maternal grandparents are living.

When we arrived at my grandparents' house, we basically ate lunch (a super late lunch at four o'clock -.-) and hung around being bored. I googled creepy stuff! Like literally "creepy things on the internet" because I was being biantai and weird?! and _ never mind. And I found a creepypasta tumblr that freaked me out to the max wtf. Then I googled Barney and discovered that Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez were once on the series! And Barney is now on hiatus LOL. But I'm a bit slow regarding the Demi/Selena thing o_o they were so cute back then! (and pretty now~)

Yes! So I googled creepy stuff (ew suicide of politican I will not say the name here omg 'cause I feel kinda creeped out, like, NOW o_o) and then slept in the taxi (v uncomfortably) on the way to my paternal grandmother's/aunt's house! (My grandmother is living with one of my aunts)

Lots of people there! Little boredom! Ate! Played Taptap! Played with 2 of my cousins ^^ and gambled! Okay i've loads to say about this (my shift key is completely screwed eek).

yeah so gambing! cny recreational gambling is quite common i'd assume? IS IT ILLEGAL OMG okay never mind. okay well in my family it occurs every year or so la, and i don't usually participate in it. but this year, out of interest, i did! and for the first part of the gambling, my father was winning. BIGTIME. and i felt really creeped out and freaked out and !!!! in general because according to the fengshui shifu my mother (who was sitting beside my father during the process) would be having good luck (her zodiac is the dog!) this year. and SCARILY, MY FATHER WON EVERY SINGLE ROUND, EVEN AS THE DEALER?!??! and also when i curiously joined in, i won the first few rounds too! which i felt was kind of eerie and xie2... o_o like he was totally on a winning streak and the pile of money kept increasing. actually i think besides this weird luckiness, something that bothered me was this phrase, running through my mind "what goes around comes around". i don't mean to cu*se my father or WHAT but seriously... i was thinking that throughout. lo and behold, the second half he lost terribly (but still not as seriously as he won o_O).

and i lost even more wtfff i even borrowed money from rachel (my cousin). OKAY SORRY FOR A MOMENT THERE I SUCCUMBED TO THE LURE OF THE SIN GAMBLING BUG. okay sorry sorry i will never do it again. and i don't think i can be a gambler, ever, because looking at the faces of my relatives... and that feeling... was not good at all? like, some people feel really exhilarated winning, but all i felt was a weird vibe. even though when i saw that pile of money, the feeling was momentarily GREAT! but it passed v quickly.

the purpose of the above paragraph is to show yall that i'm v moral actually. actually no whatever. BAI.

(note: no pictures because my camera phone is uncharged ._. i'll upload them... soon.) (REALLY)

-

second day, whoohoo. ERM! no pictures. i forgot to take them.

anyway, i woke up around 9+, and did the usual stuff etc. then, we took a taxi to my aunt's house! we were the first to arrive (around eleven thirty) FOR ONCE HAHA. i ate a lot: sausages omnom (NOT THE CUT-THE-ROPE CHARACTER), french fries, and oreo bonbons. and a lot of other cny goodies GAHHH. also played ball (half-heartedly ._.) and hung around~ with the tortoise! lol. it likes to crawl up to peoples' feet O_O?! i think it's 'cause it was cold D: because seriously, when it climbed up to my feet, its belly (?) was really wet and cold ._.

then! we went to some relative's house. i don't really... know. anyway food! and card games. ooh card games are fun! like bridge ^^ and taiti. WE DIDN'T USE MONEY HOR. and i am not sinking into an abyss of gambling! also played hide and seek with some of the children ^^ they're so cute omg. liek seriously i'm so OLD omg! i just felt "15" very strongly. and michelle (my older cousin) IS ALREADY EIGHTEEN WTFWTF. that's... so... old. W-O-W -expounds on this-.

and then! we went to someone's house. i don't know how to translate it from the dialect O_O okay anyway, it was just a short stopover, anyway. we went to another person's house (JUST TWO UNITS AWAY :D so convenient! especially to take care of the elderly... aunt. i cannot phrase this properly at all) to EAT MORE and WATCH PEOPLE PLAY CARD GAMES.

then we came back home! on the way home i totally spammed creepypastaaaaaaa (i totally hope _ doesn't see this PLSPLSPLS) on my phone. but i cannot take video creepypastas wtf. TEXT CREEPYPASTAS ARE CREEPY ENOUGH, thanks. but strangely addictive O_O yep~

and later we're gonna celebrate my grandaunt (who lives with us)'s birthday! HAPPYBIRTHDAY -add heart-. i'm very sorry to my grandaunt who has to put up with my nonsense FOR 15 YEARS OF HER LONG LONG LIFE. and i hope she lives till she's 100 very happily and healthily ^^

--

hai! so, it's almost a week after the first day of cny -_- in fact, it has been a week -_- anyway it's the 11th of february now and i've got a sh!tty migraine (wtf) that has been annoying me for the ENTIRE DAY and being very painful and on-off (!! HATE THESE KINDS MAX!) and generally.. horrible. so i'm gonna blog fast and go sleep D: my eyes kinda hurt O_O the screen seems so bright lollol.

anyway i'll be blogging about yesterday, mainly! interesting anecdote.

yes, so yesterday i was wearing squad hoodie onto the bus, 'cause it was really cold. so yes, i went into the bus and fell asleep... as usual -_- so apparently, I BLENDED IN WITH THE BUS' INTERIOR AT DAWN OR SOMETHING because no one woke me up when we reached nanyang. in fact, i was sleeping all throughout and the driver apparently didn't see me either; neither did the next schools' students (i'm just assuming there were other schools, 'cause 1. when i woke up at cashew road/street/whatever, there was a school nearby 2. the bus driver asked me what school i was from) care. SO YES I WOKE UP AT CASHEW ROAD?! LOL?!

okay this part is slightly freaky: uhm, i sometimes have outofbody experiences/semi-consciousness. so i'll be actually sleeping, but i'd hear the people near me speaking. when these incidents occur, the people are usually speaking about me, and then i hear my name and then i wake up. but this time, they hadn't even mentioned my name/me yet; the driver and the auntie were outside the school bus discussing some driver thing, and then suddenly (in chinese), i hear a loud !:

AIYO! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE!

and i was startled and woke up. and i was like WTFWTFWHEREAMI. and anyway that's basically it. the driver drove me to nanyang; i was LATE (obviously) (but shhh i didn't get caught SHHH, somehow o_o). yeah.

that's it! and yesterday i was thinking about how maturity is such a fascinating thing.

seriously, if you read my blog from 2 years ago and my blog NOW, the posts and styles are SO DIFFERENT. it's only been 2 years, and i've seem to have grown so much emotionally. most importantly, my blog is SO BORING NAOO and i'm not saying this only 'cause i've not been blogging (-cough-). it's just, the posts are not entertaining/funny and i talk randomly and i am growing duller and duller by the second too. ofc this means that i'm less frivolous... which i actually don't like. as in i like being frivolous (?!)-sounding and frivolous-looking but i don't like being frivolous. BUT I AM NOT! FRIVOLOUS. really, i know it may seem really unbelievablehaha, but sincerely i am a Deep Thinker.

okay fiona you can stop this now back to the point.

YES! and anyway i was thinking about this on the mrt after my dental appointment yesterday, and i thought: does this maturity mean i'm fully emotionally mature now, like an adult? because when i normally think about these issues, the height of emotional maturity (to me) seems to be when I'VE REACHED ADULTHOOD. so i was pondering: have i experienced things beyond my years, and most importantly, have i matured beyond my years too?

i'm sure most of us (erm maybe only me -_-?) think at points in our lives: life sucks. it is full of sh!t. where's the meaning in this pointless routine? does this mean that we've matured? we might THINK that what we're feeling and experiencing (at that point in time) is dreadfully... adult, and so PROFOUND, but we're all wrong.

i mean okay i'm mostly talking about myself, because there were times when i reflect on a certain issue, and i feel slightly proud for being so cheem and thinking deep thoughts. but no. we don't know anything yet, because our peak of cheemness/maturity is only up to HERE, and of course we would think that HERE is the highest point, when actually half of the mountain is not yet climbed.

like, i think that my writing is good. NO IT ISN'T. i cannot even EXPRESS myself properly and powerfully; how can i consider myself as GOOD, or even SEMI-GOOD. sure, my grammar and all is okay (HAHA I WISH I FEEL MY ABILITY SLIPPING) but srsly, if you just would READ vicariously, vocabulary and grammar proficiency is easy to achieve. even chicklits will do haha okay ignore this piece of unsound advice. so anyway yes!! my writing is horrible, but i kept on thinking that i was good. for an extended period of time. before my amazing discovery.

^ does this amazing discovery (that i'm not actually fully emotionally mature yet) mean that I AM ACTUALLY FULLY EMOTIONALLY MATURE?! (this is quite confusing but you get it right?) no it does not. because once again we think that we've climbed to the top, but no! another half is in the clouds. the clouds will part as we progress - but not yet.

is there ever a peak? i think, not. it's impossible to measure such things. maybe i'm wrong. maybe i'm right. but i'll have to live life to know, and possibly RESEARCH. but why would i do that, when i could experience my own? is complete maturity being jaded? being so SICK of life because we have known that life, in fact, really does suck? -shrug- LOL i wanna sleep this is too long and painful for my brain.

anyway. to conclude this possibly incoherent rubbishy passage: I AM STILL A CHILD. i have my dreams, my hopes and my passions that i will one day throw away - only to discover some more. i'm not yet emotionally mature; i am not yet grown.