hello! i've not been blogging recently. i think i might've lost all of my vocabulary.
._.
1) thank you yingtong for your christmas (?) card! also thank you hanyi! they're both very nice :D :D
2) school is starting soon ):
Watched Gulliver's Travels! Actually, it's quite forgettable. The Lilliputians (?) are so cute though!
On
soshified, the usual RDR-themed people
HAVE CHANGED TO Christmas-themed people! So fun! My family is watching Gulliver's Travels today!
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Today, I was at the computer and generally in a state of happiness because my father forgot (-cough-) to log out of his account haha. And I was reading Huiting's blog when my mother decided that our keyboards were too dirty and she took the vacuum cleaner (v expensive okay T_T) and... cleaned it! And then she thought it was still too dirty and started wiping the keyboard with Dettol wipes or something. So, the page randomly hopped to blogger.com and Google Chrome help and whatever, but I let it be, until SOMEHOW IT LOGGED OUT.
Excuse me! Hello! Why. -starts crying-
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To add insult to injury my father just came home with a cup of Koi bubble tea... for my mother.
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GOODNESS THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL CHRISTMAS DAY.
it's christmas eve!
merry christmas to all of you :D! i was doing this while watching Breakout ._.
the only weird thing that happened today happened... just now.
i was looking at my tagboard and smiling at something sabrina wrote (this sounds slightly creepy but i assure you it is not). and like, the tagboard, coincidentally, was aligned to my picture of key (that i put up for fun). (i put it up for fun.)
(I need to stress this point: For Fun)
and my mother and i had a conversation:
me: -smiles a TINY smile-
mother: wah your daughter look at men and smile (to my father) (she said it in chinese, which is why the english version sounds very awkward and o_O)
me: -shocked face, swivels around to look at her-
mother: then it's a woman?! (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
me: NO!?! -looks at screen- i where got!
mother: what is that! -gesticulates wildly-
me: -explains myself-
mother: DON'T LIE.
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HAHA KF MY MOTHER THOUGHT KEY WAS A FEMALE WTF.
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OMG FAREWELL
whoohoo!
today was! productive, i guess? was at school and saw a moth!
i thought i recognized it as the attacus atlas. OKAY NO i didn't like, think of "attacus atlas" when i saw it, i thought of "the atlas moth". which is similar.
idk if i'm right but the markings are fairly similar?! plus it's wayyyy huge, like the atlas moth!
^ i'm fairly sure i'm right. but that is irrelevant.
erm... cross-stitching is going VERY WELL! i think i kinda like it. i have shunned my calendar ):
eh but! nothing.
i've got nothing to say.
-hums a tune-
tomorrow will be a PRODUCTIVE DAY, yessiree.
(i shall have to ignore chemistry for now D:)
and sabrina WHERE IS MY NOTE O_O
i have grown tired of promises that are never kept (my own promises ._.).
google translate the title! if you wish. oh did you guys see that child pornography dude (i keep using the word "dude" ._.) on the news! the chinese news (OMG! yeah i watch). so stupid. and stupid is probably a wrong word to use but i find it easier to use non-committal words. so SICK. seriously... what is his problem ):? literally.
hmm. stalked people (purely for work-related purposes) today!
and... farewell is coming soon :O
Today was a semi-productive day! Did some Chemistry and now I am motivated to complete my revision. I suppose when you actually get the ball rolling (Eek the phrases I use), it's easier. For me, it's difficult to start AND complete whatever I want to do... which sucks. It really does.
I have decided! I'm going to make use of my newfound productivity and DO MANY THINGS. It's better than letting it all pass me by, yes/yes? Yes.
So! The things I shall do this weekend (I am suddenly excited... yet nervous):
1. the calendar! I will complete it! Yes! But I screwed it up mildly already -_-
2. the cross-stitch! Why am I intent on such crafty things. I MEAN craft-y, not crafty as in sly of course.
3. the chemistry revision! By Monday! Oh wait - Tuesday, most probably ):
4. uhm, planning last-minute outings? I've been stuck at home for an extraordinary period of time.
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Today! Aha. Yes semi-productive day, so I decided to treat myself by.. uhm, going out to Causeway Point to walk around. My life is boring. Yes, so walked around Causeway Point and amused myself by buying packet drinks (!) (the depths I have sunken into) (was that grammatically correct) and potato chips and a magazine (NOT 8days, I bought that already haha). Which shows how unhealthy my lifestyle is. A point in my favour would be that contemplation between the magazine and Dettol hand sanitizer/hand wipes... but obviously the magazine won. The proclivities of life -_-
And and! I realise that my diet is seriously unhealthy. Well, you say (or rather, Yan Li says), you finally realise that!!! ALL YOUR PEACH TEAS AND LEMON TEAS AND APPLE TEAS AND EVERY SINGLE POKKA TEA AVAILABLE!!! Uhm yeah it finally HIT me that I should be changing my diet, partly because of my expanding waist/arm/thigh/calf/etc. line and also because for Health.
And my father wants the laptop nao tata goodbye uhmmmmmm!
omg the calendar is going Badly ._. and so is revision...
gosh, fiona, pull yourself TOGETHER. do not lose yourself in a haze.
also... today i ate a lot of ice-cream. haagen dazs caramel biscuit is really good.
AND I HARDLY EXERCISED!
-agitated-
ah well. i really want to do things but i cannot bring myself to. like you know when you're sleeping but you've a dream about not being able to get up? YEP.
must must must focus. focus is Key.
omg wtf is wrong with me (i'm not a shawol).
oh! i recently have taken to googling the names of kpop groups' fan names.
and once again today was boring. i suppose... my grandaunt and domestic helper cleared out the storeroom. it was literally full of things from DECADES AGO. as old as i.
and now... it's three quarters full wtf HAHA clearing-out fail.
meh.
i read dumb witness and they do it with mirrors (by agatha christie). i like the poirot/marple stories, but not the non-poirot/marple ones ._.
and ehh i am now on facebook HELLO NYPS PEOPLE WHAT'S UP WITH TYRONNE'S MODELLY PHOTOGRAPHS O_O seriously ._.
okay never mind~ gotta gooooooooo goodbye!
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i am reading thinspiration tumblrs. honestly... ):?!
aie!
i've been busy... packing. actually it's more of "throwing out every single thing", more or less ._. except some stuff i really treasure in a twisted way... like my math remedial file (THIS IS NOT A JOKE, MDM LEE) and my LA poetry file and... a lot more!
anyway! i'm currently creating a calendar for 2011. squadmates suggested it (-winkwink-). but i cannot get the dates straight ): literally ._. i hope i don't screw it up! or all the beauty will be WASTED.
reading hercule poirot! argh life.
LIFE! yes. kitkats.
so strange.
... i'm like, totally not driven and motivated at all, it's a wonder i managed to survive until now! and again!
dumdeedum. FACE FACTS.
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i realise my blog is getting boring! AH WELL. when i was in p6/sec 1 this fact would've made me really unhappy and annoyed. but now... okay actually i'm still annoyed by it ._. and i haven't written in a very long while (the sestina is not counted, because it is fail) and OMGCAP! but ah well. ... such an attitude in life is probably not good.
Not Good, Fiona.
so. i will change it.
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getting back to the topic, (and spoiling an impactful ending to a post) when i go out i'll blog interestingly! yeah. it's so stupid to be blogging about nothing at all ._.? just to fill space and say "hey guys i'm NOT DEAD YET".
omg i should totally do that one day!
erm
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OMG YEAH!!! I've something of value to blog about! (Anyway I'm going to start using proper capitalization again.) Today, I went into the toilet. And I was really distracted and stuff 'cause there was a fly in the toilet, but I tried to ignore it, and pulled at the toilet roll. You know, for toilet paper?
AND THEN JUST AS I PULLED THE TOILET ROLL A GOSHDARN LIZARD DROPPED OUT OF IT!!!!!
I'm not joking okay? You are probably PETRIFIED IN YOUR SEATS now. A Lizard Dropped Out Of The Toilet Roll (Ew at the hygiene issue) and INTO THE TOILET BOWL.
Quite understandably I was freaked out... It was SUCH A SHOCK... I mean now that I think about it it's not that scary but... aiya it was horrifying then. And the lizard proceeded to climb about in the toilet bowl somemore ._.
Then I shrieked and ran out and my mother went in and flush! went the lizard.
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DILEMMA: To Eat The Kit Kat or Not To Eat?
today i started to pack
everything in the cupboard,
the years blurred.
i opened drawers and closed
drawers, and saw things
that i never
touched, never did, never
even bothered to pack
neatly, so things of all sorts
like papers, and plastics, rested in the cupboard,
the doors unable to close,
the contents blurred
until i picked them up, my eyes blurred
with tears that never
ever fell before, not even close.
these tears they were packed,
like the things i had in the cupboard,
with emotion. the thing
is, these things -
these exam scripts and plastic files seemed to blur
in the past, all different but the same, the same cupboard,
the same blank states, never
done, carelessly flung until i started to pack.
i looked close,
into the papers, close
into my heart, and i saw things
that i'd secretly packed
tightly into a teeny little blur,
never
released till i opened the cupboard.
the dusty white cupboard.
i really should've done these papers! closed
the gap between me and what i wanted to be, but i never
did, did i? things
will not be the same! my mind blurs;
this is such a startling fact! i hastily start to pack -
who am i kidding here, really? never have i felt like it was a little me and a huge cupboard
looming above me with the things i packed, squashing me between its walls, closer
and closer still. because, you see, the things i've not done i can never do in time. the years blur.
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AH SAD STORM. why are my sestinas so fail? but it's true, really!
things i should've done,
things that i never did - i
cannot do in time.
^ haiku! so much simpler ._.
and okay, today was a smorgasbord of events. namely: dental appointment (BRACES ARE BLUE! dusty pale blue) + starbucks + PACKING + exercising on the exercise bike we've had at home for A-G-E-S. but i exercised for A-G-E-S too D: (you are thinking: no! you have not! in reality, you've exercised for a very short time! you are merely playing with relatives, in a bid to make us, your innocent readers, believe that you are actually making an effort in your sad, pathetic, nonexistent exerciselife! when will you learn, fiona! lying - n'est ce pas! you need to DO THINGS RIGHT.) (omg i have overactive imagination). but 진짜 i did like... 30 minutes of nonstop biking, okay? that counts for something, okay? like, you are totes fit and all, but like, you need to respect me, okay? i'm working on it! 진짜
and now i shall sleep. tomorrow will include biology and chemistry to possibly high (CROSS FINGERS) extents.
gnight yall! i'm been inactive! but okay yeah.
so yes!! on friday, had QUIZ TEAM SELECTION! omg!
okay you know what i really did study but all the things i studied didn't come out on the test ._. and i'd to THINK REALLY DEEPLY (but obviously ...) and all! anyway. yeah.
after that horrifying experience, i went out with squadmates for a lunch and something that needs to be kept hushhush. yep.
then my parents and brother called and asked me to go to escape theme park with them SO I DID! when they called i was going to park lane mall, which is near dhoby ghaut mrt interchange, so i told them to wait while the thing with squadmates was getting done. however it took really long so halfway through i said goodbye to squadmates and then hastily walked towards the mrt interchange.
in a classic twist of fate, when i reached the interchange i took out my phone, and lo and behold! this text message:
"stay at park lane we are coming now"
!!!!! so annoying, these things.
anyway. we finally met up at the interchange and took a taxi to escape! where i changed into normal clothes.
oh, escape was rather boring. bet you knew that already. but seriously, there was really NO ONE THERE. okay, there was, but less than a 100 FOR SURE. in fact, less than 50 would be possible. even though it was a weekday, but it's ALSO a school holiday, you'd expect more people there (okay, i would). but no!
the rides - bah humbug. all the kiddy rides! but so fun, in a nostalgic kinda way.
and after escape we went to eat at e!hub :D and uh, went home at night. i threaded the shoelaces lynn ma'am and clarissa ma'am got for us at taiwan :D through my sport shoes (the black/pink ones) (don't judge me? i'm saying this even though i know you will)! they are fantastically striking omg and so me.
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saturday! woke up late, went to my aunt's karaoke room (the condominium's, i mean) and ... karaoked + ate snacks and cake! for my cousin's birthday :) it was okay.
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sunday! which i today, if i'm not wrong! i confess the days seem to blend together o_o but yeah vivocity!
~ nothing really special. we seem to spend a lot of time in the pet shop, looking at dogs (aiy but no, having a dog is not possible. my sister is scared of them. and she gets violent as well -insert creepy stare here-). also! arcade (OMGGGG I SUCK AT THE GAME). also! ice-cream! and gongcha! nomnom. and the food court!
OOH AND DAISO.
okay there's nothing else for me to say, because i'm not excited. meh i've work to do and since i've been procrastinating my entire holiday away - make that a LOT OF WORK to do.
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NOMNOMNOM
today was class outing. class outing = six people went ._. which is technically not very class-y, but whatever.
anyway it was sucky. because we wanted to cycle, to make up for the loss of cycling during class chalet. once again our plans were CRUELLY THWARTED - yes, i say it as so - by the weather. it rained. again.
then we moped around at macdonald's. it was cold. the rattan chair i was sitting on was damp, if you would believe it, and that was an unpleasant thing to be sitting on.
then we went to bowl. it was fun! alas i cannot remember the last time i actually bowled - which makes me wonder if i've ever bowled at all! i cannot recall. nevertheless, it was fun.
oh. i forgot. sabrina wasn't here! now you might go "what's the big deal, 18 other people didn't go". but no. you are Wrong! the rest of them already indicated their non-interest/non-ability to participate in a glorious day of sand and sunshine. but sabrina did not! she said she would come!!
BUT SHE DIDN'T!!
this made us all very worried. me, particularly, and yixin. i concede that some of my worry stemmed from the fact that she said she would pass me my letter today. but she didn't turn up. (where is my letter!)
but it was dreadfully worrying, anyway. thoughts - horrifying thoughts - flittered through my mind as quick as a lizard when i step down hard on the ground next to it. perhaps she'd been kidnapped! perhaps she'd thought we wouldn't come, because (this is rather complicated) we left her alone in east coast park for an hour or so. PERHAPS SHE IS STILL IN MALAYSIA. we did try to call her, multiple times, but she never picked up.
anyway we tried our best to forget that sabrina had STOOD US UP. she probably had a legitimate reason, but we were unaware of it.
anyway. that was it, basically. dinner and all, went home.
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i had a terrifying dream. THIS IS 100% TRUTH. NONFICTION. as in i really dreamed it all! but the contents of the dream are not true of course O_O
okay, so there was a part in the dream where i was kicking around a box of cake. it had the words "happy birthday amelia" on it. idk why i was kicking it around, but i was.
skip scene.
my mother told me that my grandaunt had a child who was brutally murdered/killed. (okay mummy do not freak out DO NOT)
skip scene.
lonely dirt road. two cars - my grandaunt's and her sister's/friend's. large rock by the road. it moved and out popped out the head (in gruesome decay etc etc there is no need to describe it in detail, and anyway i forgot) of her son! and his hand. IT BECKONED.
semi-comically, even though this is a completely inappropriate situation to be comical in, she hopped out of her car and JUMPED INTO THE HOLE ALONG WITH HER SON!!!!!!!!
skip scene.
night time. i, in my parents' bedroom, frantically trying to wake them up. somehow, i knew of my grandaunt's dreamdeath. i shouted in their ears.
skip scene.
somehowwwww we got the idea a massmurderer was in the house. actually i think there was a conversation between ^ and this, but i clean forgot it. anyway, my mother and i went on a search.
my dreamhouse was big. but we entered the study room. my mother gripped a torch and a KNIFE. me too. for protection. she turned the lights on; we saw nothing. satisfied, she went on to another area to search. me - i wasn't! i looked under the tables, and stuff.
there is this area (in my dream) between the desk and the wall.
HE WAS THERE.
and okay he freaked the dream-me out. he stared blankly, looked quite mentally disturbed, and he kept telling me to shake my head. he also waved his weapon around but half-heartedly.
WTH.
okay so i was totally freaked out yes? and i took my knife and STABBED HIM. on the thigh. whilst shouting madly for my mother.
it was really difficult to stab him, somehow. felt like stabbed some... unnatural rubber thing. when i finally got the knife in, HE DIDN'T BLEED.
and then i woke up.
and now i'm worried.
NOT ABOUT THE DREAM.
arghhh friday.
not going to blog about it, and maybe it won't seem so real.
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OMG.
This is really childish, but please look at the residence of the current Malaysian prime minister.
Take a Look.
HEEHEE. (Click to Enlarge, please!)
Labels: channeling jaclyn moriarty
she wanted to name 'em. she wanted bella, but i vetoed it because it reminded me of twilight (and nothing against twilight. but flowers are creatures of dawn!).
anyway i googled things like that and came up with two very exquisite and italian names!
floriana and fiorenza!
fiorenza means "blossoming". this is horribly apt - 'cause flowers blossom, do they not! my impeccable logic.
floriana is even better. it means "flower" -hops around-. incredibly appropriate!
but my mother doesn't like these names D: she prefers "darling" and "baby". BAH!
dumdeedum. i must go out and do something. ahhhh soshi. ahhhh i never knew i'd go down this lane. but ah well! accept it and move on!
... also i am v v annoyed at myself. I SHOULD READ HIROSHIMA NOW. goodbye.
it's been the usual ladeeda at home these days. borrow chicklits from library (uhm), read chicklits really quick, return them, repeat ad infinitum. today i cried (!) at a chicklit wtf! it was uh, mary hogan's perfect girl! there was an old man who was misunderstood by the main character and he DIED. what D: i am v sensitive to misunderstood people and somemore he was old! and weak. and had no kin. = ):
anyway i'm so boredddd. tomorrow! going kinokuniya with my mother and brother ^^ and perhaps i'll give up chicklits. NOT LIKELY. but it's so hard to find GOOD chicklits. i know what you're thinking. but yes! i am very discerning when it comes to this. REALLY. argh.
need to study for quizzzzzzzzz yo kf! it's night.
i had pizza hut today. i'm gonna get FAT i'm serious! LACK OF PHYSICAL ACTIVITY DOES THAT TO A PERSON, YKNOW? so i went cycling. sad to say i'm far from proficient at it... or at swimming too, actually. obviously i'm not very athletically-inclined ): and i'm not academically-inclined, goodness. AND I'M HARDLY ARTISTICALLY-INCLINED TOO! sure, i like to think that i am, but - honestly my masterpieces speak for themselves and it ain't pretty, that's all i can say.
-sigh-
also did you know xiaxue CAN DRAW? i always sort of thought she was artistically-inclined to a certain degree (her photoshopping is good! and all.) but SERIOUSLY! this is her work:
see! is talent!
okay i shall flitter off to... whatever. goodbye and goodnight!
Disclaimer: Please don't read this if you're Mdm Lee/my mother/anyone older than me. Please.
I have never been a particularly outstanding student. In P1 I got first in class.
That was about it. Then in P3, I got into the GEP. For once in my life, I felt special, I felt smart, I felt like I could do anything and everything and I wanted to do all these at one shot.
Then this excitement slowly fizzled out once I entered Nanyang Primary. You see, I've never put any effort in anything in my life. I didn't need to, the results just came naturally. But in Nanyang Primary, without any effort, my results just - plummeted.
A greater person would pick herself off the ground, grit her teeth and run on. I was never a great person.
When I entered my secondary school, I was already used to being the one-who-isn't-that-good-in-any-subject-okayyyyy-maybe-english-but-that's-about-it. I never expected that to change, although I fervently wished to do myself proud one day. But I knew, there are some wishes that can never materialize. This was one of those. The reason for that was my own fault, I saw no motivation to change my habit. They say it's hard to break a bad habit. That's true.
In secondary school, I faced more than my struggles with my lack of determination. In secondary school, I was no longer one of the Big Kids. I was a Small Kid now, and around me I saw many people who were much older, much wiser, who probably stayed up all night without sleeping a wink. And I felt so much in awe of them, for surviving four years of perpetual stress. It probably seems stupid, but that was my genuine thought then. Despite my awe of them, I didn't want to be them. But gradually I discovered I was stuck with this ._.
Anyways.
In secondary school, I had 113/213. My class was something really special to me. They were the first people I held on to when I fell down, the people I grew most comfortable with first. I tried to be open with some of my friends, but I gradually realised that that wasn't possible, because, despite all that I thought of 213, 213 was never going to be a part of me, something I could criticize without tact. If there is one thing I think I'm good at, it's thinking.
Oh, you will say, Fiona, you? You do not appreciate literature, you own a fuchsia jacket and you care about your appearances. How can someone like you ever Think? Truly, deeply?
Maybe I cannot. Maybe my view of the world is so shallow it barely scratches the depth that you've reached. But I think about my relationships with others, my own faults and strengths, and I feel that that is more applicable to my self-actualization. Yes. I want to be smart, I want to get good grades, I want to get a good job and I want a new camera.
Cleverness used to be a huge deal for me, and I think it was because of my status as a GEPer. Once I've ascertained that I've gotten something, I don't want to lose it. That's right. It's really crude: I don't want to be stupid. But that is because when I'm stupid, I lose cleverness. (well in a warped sense)
I want good grades. Who doesn't? What matters is the effort you put in for it. Grades aren't everything. That's correct. But they are something people judge you by when they know you enough. (This part's a little confusing) Do I care? Honestly deep down inside, I really care. I don't really want to play second fiddle and I really want to get out of my shell. But can I? Do I WANT IT ENOUGH? I'm not sure.
I am a judgmental person. I don't deny that. I base people on their looks. But once I've gotten to know them, I find it easier to let go of my prejudices and think of them as a person. If you are close to me, I've probably analysed your character. If you are not close to me, I've also probably tried to analyse you as a person, to guess who you are.
I do not like mess. I do not like clutter. I would like to sit in a bed all day with a bottle of Snapple and a book. Not necessarily a chicklit. Now here comes the relevation you all have been waiting for: The books I read do not consist of only chicklits and Harry Potter. WOWWWWWWWWWW startling, isn't it? It is, frankly, none of your business what I read.
I dream of many things. I want to explore the human psyche. I want to be less affected by people's opinions of me. I want to work hard.
I am a very self-conscious person.
I am also lazy.
But in the end, will it matter? An awesome job, loads of money. When you're old and nearing your end, sit back and think about all that you've achieved. Did you chase after it just for the chase? Because everyone else was doing it? Because you are a materialistic git?
My very confusing and probably "wtf-I-don't-get-this-Fiona-you-are-damn-act-cheem" passage ends here. After this really long reflection-kind-of thing, my conclusion is: Priorities. Why not, you think about it. What do you really want in life? I know some people chase after jobs, they are practical as hell. Some people like me, like to act-cheem and think. But am I really acting-cheem? But posing such a philosophical question like "am I acting-cheem" am I acting-cheem or really am I thinking? I AM SO CONFUSED BY MY HEAD RIGHT NOW. I often find myself in ThinkParadoxes. I think I started thinking all this since I read Sophie's World with relish oh god ._.
Because you start to judge me and my act-profound thoughts, please don't. I really don't know why I keep a blog; I'm so self-conscious. Anyway. Before you judge me, remember I'm younger and not as wise as you (and also didn't I tell you not to read this?).
edit on 30 oct 2011: oh my god.
HAI! today i went to rebecca's haus to do the sss. yknow, the
super
secret
surprise thing! obviously 'cause it's a secret thing i cannot tell yall what we did. well, i could, but that would be very embarrassing so i am withholding that information! yey! i got lost on the way home though, and reached home at EIGHT. EIGHT, REBECCA O_O that is 'cause i was supposed to take the bus to serangoon station, but i didn't see it or something so i went all the way to PAYA LEBAR. what is with me T_T uh so i took another bus back to serangoon station, and because it was dark i couldn't recognize anything so i went into the new shopping centre (
nex) and wandered around trying to look for the mrt entrance. anyway it wasn't open (!) so i was annoyed and hungry and i went up again and out of the centre and finally found the mrt station and then i took a train to bishan and then from bishan i took another train to woodlands.
uhhhh it was pretty fun (not the getting lost part, the SSS part at rebecca's house). i fell asleep ._. while watching a movie wth! I AM DEPRIVED OF SLEEP D: only because i slept at like, three yesterday. that is an exaggeration yes.
omg i wanna go kinokuniya soon! like, tomorrow. haven't been on the computer recently (= no blogging) because my father totally locked it because my parents totally don't trust me around the computer ): i admit i can be a TAD excessive -cough- but only because the interwebz = treasure trove.
OMG!!! THE RADIO!!!
okay ignore that it was an snsd thing.
uh OMG!! SNSD :O! did you hear that!
okay never mind i am being ridiculous i need to go send my mother cafe world thingies nao. gbye yall! i hope you won't judge me. NO WAIT, you won't - because i've been liddis ALL ALONG. but seriously guys, i am shocked at my use of language. LIEK, i misspell things. ON PURPOSE. how ridikulus is THAT OMG! somemore after some time it becomes a habit ): and i'm starting to abuse exclaimation marks sigh D: OH NOES!
hahaha okay yknow what?! WHAT. imma gonna start reading good literature. btw you know when i say "good literature" in my head, it's like a DISH TO BE SAVOURED, yknow? it has that feel. just say it - say "good literature". doesn't the phrase slip off your tongue in a most delicious manner? is it just me ._.? this reminds me of ariel and her synesthesia. ariel is a very unique individual indeed.
I'M TRIPPIN'. okay ignore ignore ignore that. hmm. do you ever feel that words are beautiful things. artistically speaking. like the word: "elixir". isn't it really balanced and all? it really is, isn't it. oh and the word, idk... "idk" is pretty cute too. balanced! the loops and the lines and the tittles and all that!
sigh again. i am really easily influenced by others' opinions of me. i don't like it when people who don't know me at all judge me. i have said this countless times. am i overthinking this. yes/no/maybeeeee. so difficult. self-worth = 0.
